Celebrity Touch Target: Steven Cojocaru
Why: Because I am having a celebrity touching dry spell lately and
this C-list television fashion critic just happened to be standing there
Where: Los Angeles International Airport
How: They say that clothes make the man, but in the case of
fashion victim… oops I mean critic… Steven Cojocaru, I would argue that hair
makes the man… look like a woman. I noticed Meg
Ryan standing
in the United Airlines Premier Executive line (that would mean she was BEHIND
me) boarding a flight to San Francisco. Then, as the fluorescent light caught
just the right angle, I noticed that Meg Ryan was actually fashion gadfly
Steven Cojocaru. Same stringy, bleached hair, vagina and puffy lips (redundant,
sorry), but just a little more feminine than Meg. Now, granted, Cojo, as he
likes to be called by housewives at the Kohl’s makeup counter, isn’t truly a celebrity, but I
have been celebrity touch-free lately, so we will allow it. In order to touch Flojo, I decided to suddenly
decelerate, letting those people who were just going to get pulled out of line
anyway for not boarding at the right time, breeze past me. This put my modest
caboose on a collision course with the flame-buoyant Today
Show
correspondent. Thankfully, his hair bags must have deployed because he only
gently grazed me, saving me years of therapy if something else would have
bumped into my rump. Celebrity-ish Touch secured!
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