Celebrity Touch
Target: Seth
Meyers
Why: Because
the former SNL Weekend Update star and current Late Night host was standing
between me and my Baby’s Breath.
Where: New York City Whole Foods
How: It’s quite a rare occurrence that you would
run into a legitimate celebrity in a grocery store, other than, of course, Bethenney Frankel trying to convince you that skinny
cocktails are still a “thing.” But that
is exactly where I found recent late-night it boy Seth Meyers, loitering in the
densely packed flower department of the Whole Foods on 7th Avenue
(watch in amazement as I don’t refer to this store as Whole Paycheck even once
in this diatribe… look we get it… it’s expensive… move on for Henry
Cavill’s sake). Replete in my age-appropriate 7” inseam
saffron-colored shorts and Pilgrim Surf +Supply naughty nautical themed t-shirt, I hadn’t
noticed the giraffe-faced comedian until he proved an apparent obstacle for me
to obtain a delicate bouquet brimming with Gerber Daisies (reader’s note: my favorite, thanks for remembering) and a
whisper of Baby’s Breath (again, why is this still a “thing”). My annoyance quickly swung to mild-annoyance
when I realized a Celebrity Touch™ had presented itself. So, as I bent from the knees – never from the
waist (Flower Fitness Journal June 1987) – to extend my slender, cocoa butter-lathered
arm and reach the Gerber (no relation to Rande) Daisies, I casually nicked Seth’s elbow
with mine. Celebrity Touch and “Sorry I Made
You Wait in Line at Shake Shack” bouquet secured!
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